Dear Fear and Other Friends ...

Dear Fear and other inconvenient friends ,

Fuck y’all ! You have crippled my growth for far too long and now I’m ready to live. You’ve stomped out Hope , Joy and Love for the last time. There is no more room for you left at this table and I’ll tell you why. 

For years you’ve robbed me of friends , opportunities and love leaving me with nothing but my pain and self loathing to keep me company and what miserable company to hold.  For far to long you’ve cause me to second guess my thoughts and doubt my intuition when I needed them the most. 

I hate y’all because y’all made me hate me. You made me cringe at the thought of being alone making me feel as if being alone meant that I was unwanted but oh its quite the opposite . 

Fear my dear, I found love and she loves me stronger and harder than any man could. When I wake up in the morning she holds me with all the love in her heart  as she thanks God for another day to call me her own. She’s constantly shielding me from the seemingly endless pits of depression feeding me positive thoughts and affirmations every chance she gets . She loves the skin I’M in, taking the time to admire it every time I walk by from my lopsided titties down to my knobby knees. 

We haven’t always been this way and there have been several times in which you’ve made me  doubt her. Twice you’ve tried to make me kill her but OH her love was much stronger that any wedge you’ve tried to stick between us. Yes you tried to take her from me but what’s mine can never be taken says the lord. Fear, you hate her because you can never fill the spaces you’ve dug into my heart the way she can no matter how hard you’ve tried. Oh sure, I remember when one upon a time you called your self protecting me in your own way but her love has given me the strength and courage I need to survive the emotional potholes you’ve created.

I love her more that you could ever know and I pray this love continues to grow so strong that the memory of you just becomes a speck drifting in the distance as I bask in my Eternal sunshine. You see Fear, she is me and today I choose to cover her in the love and light she deserves and where light shines darkness can not enter so from this day forward you are no longer welcomed to enter my loves dwelling place. 

Learning to LOVE MYSELF without you,

Mia J. Burnside